A Good Day To Reconsider
Easter Sunday
Hello, followers of Jesus. On this day of your saviour’s rebirth, I ask you to spend a moment thinking about new beginnings. White people, this goes triple for you. …for example, if you got a little tense at the phrase “white people”, think of today as a chance to reconsider that.
I’m going to guess that none of my white friends think of themselves as racist. I mean, none of us would use the N word to a black person’s face, right? Or cheer a lynch mob? Gracious, no! We are Good People and Good People would never do these things.
But that’s not what racism is. It’s participating in a system that doesn’t throw obstructions at white people for just being white, but does present difficulties for black and brown people just for being black or brown. All of us are part of it no matter what our ethnicity, but some of us never question it while others are forced to question it every day.
Today a friend made a post that played on black stereotypes. I pointed out that even so called ‘positive’ stereotypes are harmful. He was confused, but deleted the post because he didn’t want to upset me. Me. Not people who were used to illustrate the stereotype, but moi. This is an interesting take on what I was saying and really drives home the point about white people needing to be the ones to call out other white people.
Yet when I pointed out that it wasn’t about me, it was about dismantling racism in all it’s varied forms, he got defensive. White people don’t like the words “racism” or “racist”, even when presented in the gentlest, most non-confrontational ways. This is especially true if we think we’ve already done the work.
I sent him two articles about how ‘positive’ stereotypes cause pain. He sent back an article about political correctness. I pointed out that the folks who make the p.c. argument are usually the folks benefiting from the current status quo. (In my mind I was criticising his sources, but he got defensive again. I guess if the shoe fits…) I mean, really, do we Good People really want the status quo that exists in the United States to continue? I certainly don’t.
In a completely unsurprising move, he went on a mini rant then unfriended me. Two things about the status quo: 1) if I’d said nothing, that would definitely have been supporting current racial dynamics (not OK), and 2) if he’d taken a breath and considered that his discomfort about discussing race was part of the problem, we might have taken a larger step towards equity and equality. I can only do my part and hope that he will do his.
What he did was completely typical of white people, particularly white men. But it doesn’t have to be. We can change and we can help other white people to change. In fact, it’s our job to make that happen; it is not the job of black and brown people to clean up the mess we created.
If reading any part of this made you uncomfortable but you kept reading, well done. (Really.) If you’d like to help get rid of that discomfort and learn about ways to excavate some of the insidious, harmful messages society teaches us about race, I’m proud of you. There are many, many resources online where you can read up. Some helpful search terms include “decolonise”, “white privilege”, and “white fragility”. They won’t necessarily be easy to read, but like the first phases of a workout plan, it’s worth it.
I’ll never arrive at a magical destination of being ‘not racist’, but I am working tirelessly – and endlessly – at making changes to myself and my professional work. Easter is an excellent day for new beginnings. And remember, there are no white people in the Bible.
~ ~ ~
Epilogue: in a move that was completely surprising, he was willing to keep chatting to me. We moved on to discuss Mellody Hobson’s TED talk, “Color Blind or Color Brave?” (above) and he sent me a friend request. Progress is possible!
